I'm a teenager and I know what a heart attack...
warriorsoftheangel: thehellishdimensions: Because of Cassandra Clare.
if 1D gets slimed
zayn: THIS IS MOTHERFUCKING GUCCI YOU FUCKING CUNTS YOU MESSED UP MY FUCKIGN HAIR BITCHES GONNA PAY FOR THIS SHIT
me: but the rats
me: yeah, but they seem to stay on the ceiling.
me: but the lizards.
me: oh, come on. you used to pull there tails off when you were little. you're not scared of lizards.
me: but the rats.
me: rats can't really hurt you anyway. they're more scared of you than you are of them.
me: okay, but what about the rats?
me: shut up.
Peeing is like a good book in that it is very, very hard to stop once you start.– John Green, Paper Towns (via hullagirl)
If I had a nervous breakdown every time something awful happened in the world,...– John Green (Paper Towns)
absoluutebliss: first of all, who allowed me on the internet
Zayn: Why did you follow me into the bathroom?
Me: The questions we ask say more about us than the answers that we give.
Zayn: That was deep.
Zayn: What's your twitter? I'll DM you later
what's the definition of trust?
circles90: creepygross: oncelerswaifu: kiango: voluptuousrandy: two cannibals giving each other blowjobs. omg thats the most beautiful thing ive ever read profound
Reblog if Zayn dm'ed you for casual sex one time
satan: knock knock
me: who's there
satan: i saw your blog
satan: we have wifi in hell
*Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me. I had a good life.
*Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now. How am I going to go on? Holy shit.
*Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack. Is this what cardiac arrest feels like?
*A cop walks by*: Here I go, I'm about to get arrested. I probably murdered someone and forgot. I'm sure they know about when I smoked that one time.
*Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper or you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school.
*Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer.
elizabethanemily: jennifer lawrence just seems like a tumblr person who made it outside
Normal Couples: "You hang up the phone" "No, you hang up the phone" "No you!" "No baby, you first!"
Peeta and Katniss: "You kill me" "No, you kill me!"
Caesar: For those of you idiots who haven't read the book and have no idea what tracker jackers are...
"I was going to tell Harry a penis joke, but I...
asheswillfly: Peeta Mellark is a testament to the fact that if you stalk someone for a long enough amount of time, you will eventually get them to fall in love with you
zayn: don't even care about the table breaking
effie: THAT IS MAHOGANY